How To Write A Book without Business Writing: A Comedy
October 18, 2009
How to Write a Book without business writing:
1) Best read this if you’ve had some time in a dark cave. Preferably without any heat in the dead of winter. This way you might actually do some of this… (don’t.) It is a great way to write a book.
It takes confidence and ego to write a book. Mostly ego. You need to spend much time trumpeting your book to the world with all of your best ideas. Use the computer only for Internet use, and an old typewriter to write the manuscript. If Ernest Hemingway could do this so can you.
Never ever ever write any plans for how this book might go. Business plans and writing and marketing are for writers who lack ego, which you have in abundance. You don’t need a marketing plan, you need a superior makeup artist for your face.
Harry Potter was good, yours is better. You spend hours, three, writing it up using Dragon Speak Naturally, which works well, except might miss some of your words because you talked too fast.
A writing business isn’t vogue, you just need this one book. Keep typing on that manual typewriter. Agents will love it.
Speaking of agents who needs them? You can walk into Random House to see the president and he’ll pay millions for your book. “SWElLINg Mistackes” and all. They know they’ve got a great one on their hands.
It’s done in 5 days. Editing, isn’t needed, a 7000 page book will do nicely. So what if it goes off on tangents?
(Wrong, if it goes on and on and off topic, you don’t have a book, you have a monster. Editing is needed to really get to know how you write and what you need to become more of a professional writer. All this advice you read above is wrong. Do not follow it.)
Marketing plan who needs that? Well, you certainly don’t, just pop the book on a bookshelf and look it goes out the door with paying customers. Never really need business writing. Oh and gain about 50 pounds all good writers don’t care about their health.
Okay, now that you’ve stopped laughing, I hope you enjoyed this.
Some of my laugh out loud blogs that I read also have me thinking about how . They are all witty and fun, and their sense of humor… priceless. Having fun and learning about the art of business writing takes a lot of time.
My question for you today is this: What did you find that you can do with humor?